


it was all a rush

by unrulyposie



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: A little angst, F/F, SOFT GAYS, kelley just wanted her to listen, minor tobin and christen, sonny thinks she messed up, supportive best friend lindsey, they love eachother but they're stupid, they talk it out don't worry, tobin and christen are also there and fucking soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21941386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unrulyposie/pseuds/unrulyposie
Summary: "Emily rushed off as quick as she could, needing to find solace in the music of headphones. Things had never been easy for her when it came to feelings. Most of the time she didn’t even talk about them, not even to Emma. Although she had grown in talking about them however she still struggled with her own internal battles about them. Feelings made things complicated, especially when confronted so if you just ignored them long enough they would hopefully go away."
Relationships: Kelley O'Hara/Emily Sonnett
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	it was all a rush

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all!
> 
> okay so i haven't written in ages but this one goes out to my fic validation girlies on twitter. without them i probably wouldn;t have had the motivation to finish this.
> 
> anyways some classic sonny red card and kelley is there. 
> 
> for the sake of this story the portland thorns vs. utah royals took place in portland 
> 
> i hope you like it!

Going into the semifinal, she knew something was off. The team hadn’t been clicking for a few weeks, not since the Portland-Utah matchup. It was partly her fault too. If she had just kept herself in check during that match and not let the events of the night before affect her, maybe things would be okay. 

-

_ “Sonnett, you can’t just come in here and say that!” the fiery brunette yelled, the dim lighting of the hotel room hitting her freckled skin.  _

_ “Kell, I..” she stopped to gather her thoughts. Why had she been so stupid? She should have just kept her mouth shut.  _

_ “No, don’t ‘Kell’ me. Sonnett, you can’t just come in here and act like nothing happened, like we can just be friends. Friends my ass, Em,” Kelley retorted with a silent scoff as she gazed at the younger blonde from her place on the bed.  _

_ Sonnett’s heart was racing a mile a minute. She had fucked it up. Kelley didn’t want her. How could she be so stupid? _

_ “Kelley, I-I’m so-sorry,” she barely choked out, her voice cracking slightly on the words. She crumpled down onto the couch in the hotel room, glancing over at Kelley as she tried to keep her tears at bay.  _

_ “Em... no, I’m sorry. Fuck. I shouldn't have reacted like that. There’s no reason to apologize,” Kelley sighed. Watching Sonny as she shriveled up into a small shell of herself, guilt overcame the older defender. Letting out another sigh, she patted the spot next to her on the bed.  _

_ “Come here, Em,” she spoke in a voice barely above a whisper.  _

_ The tension in the room was palpable. It felt as if a thick cloud covered the room, trapping the two in a revolving door of their feelings.  _

_ Sonny looked up with a shaky breath. She had resorted to looking at her palms, trying to memorize the lines on them to distract from the thought of having possibly just messed up everything. _

_ "It’s.. it’s okay, I’m sorry. I should go. I screwed up. Kelley, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I just... I love you but I'm sorry,” she managed to get the words out, not even processing that she had said the L-word.  _

_ Kelley's mind was circling. She loved her? She had been so blind to see it. Before kelley could even give a response, the blonde was up off the couch and out the door.  _

_ Had she really just told Kelley she loved her. What an idiot. all Emily wanted to do was rush home, vent to Lindsey, and maybe cry a little - and that’s exactly what she did.  _

_ As soon as she got back to her shared apartment with Lindsey, she dropped her keys into the bowl by the door. The Georgia native kicked off her shoes and walked over to the couch sitting in the corner. She curled into the pillows, bringing one close to her chest as she tried to muffle her cries. Lindsey entered the living room a few moments later to see her best friend on the couch. The Colorado native could tell something was up. She beelined for the freezer, grabbing the tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream, Sonnett’s favorite. She also grabbed two spoons so that they could dig into the container - no bowls necessary.  _

_ When Lindsey made it over to the couch, she plopped down as close to Emily as she felt was acceptable. The taller blonde popped open the container and then held out a spoon to Emily.  _

_ The two both collected a spoonful of ice cream, savoring how it melted in their mouth. They sat in silence, the only sound being Em’s quiet sniffles and the spoons hitting their teeth every so often. Eventually, Lindsey had enough, deciding to break the silence.  _

_ “What happened, Son?” she asked softly gazing next to her.  _

_ “God, Linds, I was so stupid,” she chuckled dryly, all the humor that was usually injected into her voice gone.  _

_ Lindsey just shook her head, trying to eliminate the thoughts full of choice words for a certain Utah defender. As much as she hated that Kelley was the reason Sonny was crying on the couch the night before a huge matchup, yelling at the girl would do no good for either of them.  _

  
  


_ “She.. she doesn’t want me, and, God, how, I don't even know why I ever thought she would. Linds, I feel so stupid,” she mumbled before taking another spoonful. “And then I just had to make things worse and I told her I love her, God, I'm ridiculous. She probably never wants to see me again,” Emily rambled on. Somewhere between her bite of ice cream and the continuation of the story, tears had sprung from her eyes  _

_ Lindsey didn’t know what to do. She had never seen her best friend like this. “Son, if she doesn’t want you, then she’s the stupid one, not you,” the blonde muttered.  _

_ From there, a movie was flicked on, neither caring what it was as Lindsey tried to console Emily.  _

_ The next day, as the duo arrived at the game, Sonny’s head was not in it. She didn’t get any rest the night before, still reeling about how she had told Kelley she loved her. Her eyes were red from crying and tears stained her cheeks. Everyone knew something was up when the usually hyped Sonnett had resigned to curling up in her locker. But no one questioned it, deciding she was better off left alone.  _

_ When they stepped onto the field for warmups, Emily tried to throw a smile on her face. She was excited to see Christen and Becky, but there was this nagging feeling that she couldn’t shake off. Kelley wasn’t even playing, she would be able to avoid her for god's sake, but it amounted to more than that. _

_ As the team warmed up, Emily kept her eyes firmly planted on the plush green beneath her, fearing that if she looked up she would seek out Kelley. As everyone goofed off before the game, the blonde kept to herself, not even getting in on the jokes with Lindsey.  _

_ When Tobin went over to go say hi to Christen, who was with Kelley, Lindsey tagged along.  _

_ The duo chatted about Sonny as they walked over towards the Stanford pair.  _

_ “Hey Chris.” Tobin said softly as she wrapped her girlfriend up in a soft hug. She pressed a soft kiss to the side of Christen’s head, glad that no fans were in the stadium yet.  _

_ Lindsey watch the encounter with a small grin, mumbling out a hi to Christen with a hug before looking at Kelley, who looked just as much of a mess as Sonny did.  _

_ “KO, let’s talk real quick,” The blonde stated before making her way over to the bench to sit down with Kelley. Kelley hobbled her way over to the bench, the boot on her left ankle not doing much to speed the process along. When she got to the bench, the freckled woman sat down and nervously folded her hands together. The usually fierce woman played with her hands, waiting for Lindsey to yell at her, but instead the blonde pulled her into a hug.  _

_ “You look like a disaster and although I’m a little mad at you, I also know how happy you make Em. But she thinks she screwed up big time, so please talk to her. Fix this Kel. I don’t want to see the two of you like this,” she said, rubbing comforting circles on Kelley’s back as she spoke. An unamused chuckle fell from Kelley’s lips as she looked up at the sky, willing her emotions away. Lindsey sighed softly, her own blue orbs glistening. She hated seeing two of the most stubborn people she loved at odds.  _

_ “You both just need to listen to each other and communicate okay? Talk to her after the game. She loves you, and that’s not going to stop because of whatever happened,” Lindsey added. She pulled the brunette into one more tight hug, whispering soft words of encouragement before she had to return to practice.  _

_ Lindsey went back over towards her best friend as they began to run some simple passing drills. She couldn't help but notice how resigned the girl looked. The sun was shining down on Providence Park, the fans beginning to filter in, flags being hung up, and the team laughing. Everyone was having fun, even the Utah players, but Emily was disconnected. Mark called everybody in for a huddle, and everyone jogged over, gathering around each other. He gave a generic motivational speech, giving some pointers based on warmups before the team was released to the locker room.  _

_ Emily rushed off as quickly as she could, needing to find solace in the music of her headphones. Things had never been easy for her when it came to feelings. Most of the time, she didn’t even talk about them, not even to Emma. Although she had grown better at talking about them, she still struggled with her own internal battles. Feelings made things complicated, especially when confronted, so Emily figured if she just ignored them long enough, they would hopefully go away.  _

_ The dim lighting of the locker room was just enough to help her escape for a few moments. A minute to catch her breath from seeing Kelley before Mark came in. Before the pregame rituals started. Before people were being pulled for press conferences. Before pictures were taken. Before she had to lace up her shoes, three knots on each. Before she had to slide her socks up and over her shin guards. Before she had to rush onto the field and play her heart out as if nothing were wrong. Before she would have to ignore the gaze of the woman she loved staring at her on the sideline. Before all the chaos, she found a moment to be quiet. A moment to just be Emily Ann Sonnett, a twenty-five year old soccer player, a quirky blonde who names her plants and makes playlists for every moment of her life. Curled into her locker, she ignored the photos tacked up with Kelley in them, instead opting to open up Spotify to start yet another playlist. Except this one was private. Her emotions weren’t for the world to see. Not when they were this deep.  _

_ Adding song after song felt therapeutic, and it flowed so naturally that Emily felt herself getting lost in her music. But then reality set in. Lindsey shook her shoulder, motioning that it was time to line up. She did so with practiced ease, trying to set aside all thoughts of Kelley until later. Until after the Thorns had won. However, that ended up being far from the case.  _

_ The game started with high, intense energy, but she felt like her mind was miles away. She wasn’t playing her best and she knew it. Knew that the tackle on Christen was reckless. Knew that she deserved the yellow. Knew that she deserved the second yellow even more. She didn’t fight back when leaving the field, deciding to keep her eyes low as Tobin and Lindsey came to her defense, but she didn’t need it. She had been wrong.  _

_ Once she was on the sideline, Mark patted her on the shoulder. “We’ll talk later kid, shower, calm down, it’s fine,” he mentioned as she kept walking over.  _

_ Yet, deep down, she knew it wasn’t fine. Why couldn’t someone just yell at her? It was always “poor Sonnett,” “sorry that happened, but you were great.” Emily reached the tunnel pausing momentarily to breathe in. As she took a shaky breath, hand cupping her face, a familiar warmth invaded her space.  _

_ “Damn, you really sucked out there, Em. Not having a good day, huh,” Kelley chuckled dryly as she withdrew Emily’s hands from her face.  _

_ She couldn’t help but scoff in reply while shaking her head. Of course Kelley had to show up now and do exactly what she needed, only reinforcing the fact that she loved her.  _

_ “Yeah, I was pretty shitty huh, kind of got other things on my mind,” She mumbled as she brushed aside a piece of hair that had come loose.  _

_ “Go shower and then how about we talk. Good things only, Son,” Kelley wrapped her hand around the blonde beside hers for a quick moment and squeezed it gently before she hobbled back out of the tunnel on crutches.  _

_ In that moment, Emily knew things were going to be alright. She breathed in, then out, in, out, before heading towards the Thorns locker room.  _

_ After a quick shower, she felt much more at ease. Enough to talk to the woman she loved. The game still wasn’t over, but Emily needed to leave - she could email Mark later. The blonde gathered her belongings and exited the locker room, racing to her car.  _

_ ‘Kell, meet at my place and we can talk?’ she texted, immediately biting her lip in worry that it wasn’t the right thing to say. When she quickly got a thumbs up in response, she let out a sigh of relief.  _

_ Emily’s drive back to her place was quiet, the music barely audible over the chaos of her thoughts. She knew that her and Kelley needed to talk; however, she had no idea where to even begin. ‘Hey Kell, sorry for saying I love you’ - ‘Oops, my bad for fucking up our friendship’ - The list ran on. Her fingers tapped impatiently against the steering wheel at each traffic light she got stuck at. Of course, the one time she wants to get home quickly, every single red light in Portland seems to be after her. The drive gives her just enough time to almost make her regret texting Kelley. Almost.  _

_ By the time she arrived back at her apartment, it was well into the second half of the game. The blonde scrolled through Twitter to keep updated but quickly closed the app as she saw all the comments about how reckless she was. She didn’t need that now. Instead, the woman hurried around her apartment, straightening up everything in sight. Kelley had seen this apartment at its worst, but for some reason Sonny felt like this was different. If her home looked put together, maybe she would come off that way as well. She knew Kelley would be able to see right through her, but the younger girl just needed to set her mind at ease.  _

_ After being home for half an hour alone, her thoughts consuming her, a knock on the door signaled the arrival of Kelley. The blonde quickly took in a breath and then shook her hands gently. She stuffed her left hand deep into her pocket, scratched behind her ear, and then began her walk to the front door. When she opened the door, the Georgia native gave a small soft smile to the woman on the other side of the door. The nerves and tension radiated between them. It was obvious that there was something they needed to talk about, but neither knew how to approach it. Kelley smiled back slightly before tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.  _

_ “Hey Em..” Kelley said softly, then opened her mouth as if to say something else before shutting it.  _

_ “Hey Kel, um.. You can come in,” the blonde replied, stepping to the side so that Kelley could enter her apartment.  _

_ Kelley entered the apartment as if it were any other day. She glanced around the unusually clean room and then back to Emily. The silence seemed to stretch miles between them, though they were only mere feet apart. Kell moved a little further into the apartment, locking eyes with Sonnett as she did so.  _

_ Emily opened her mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by the brunette defender opposite of her.  _

_ “No, it’s my turn now,” Kelley said taking in a shallow breath as she took a look over the blonde. “Yesterday, you showed up at my hotel room. Em, you told me you loved me and then said nevermind- you acted as if you hadn’t just made this huge declaration. Yes, I got mad and I’m sorry about that, but you don’t understand how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that. How long I’ve wanted to say it back. Emily Ann Sonnett, I love you. I really do, so it sucked when you said those three words then tried to take them back. Em..” Kelley paused to look at Emily whose blue orbs were glistening. She tentatively reached out for the blonde’s hand, lacing their fingers into each others before she began to speak again.  _

_ “Being with a teammate is hard but I want you, Em. I want to travel to you on long weekends and bye weeks. I want to take you out for your stupid avocado toast you love. I want to travel back to Georgia together for holidays. Train together, I don’t even care. Everything is just better with you. I'm never not laughing around you, and I hope we can make this work, because I do love you, and, if you don’t want to take back what you said last night, then you love me too. I mean I can’t blame you, I am just so lovable,” Kelley said the last sentence with a cheeky grin and a wink as she noticed Sonny smiling softly at her.  _

_ “Kelley Maureen O’Hara, you are full of surprises, but I love it and I love you,” the Thorns player said as she stepped closer to Kelley. She dropped the brunette’s hand so that she could cup her cheeks. Kelley settled into the embrace, wrapping her arms around Emily’s waist as she pulled their lips together in a kiss.  _

_ The whole feeling of fireworks didn’t happen, but instead Kelley just felt whole. She felt safe. They both did. The love between them radiated as they kissed in a spotless Portland apartment. The duo both knew there was more for them to talk about, but right now all they wanted was to get lost in each other’s arms. _

-

Now sitting in the Chicago Red Stars’ away locker room, Sonny smiled to herself. She jumped out of her locker into the middle of the room. 

_ _

“Guys, I know we’ve been a little wonky lately, but we’re gonna kick ass, and if we don’t then we can all blame it on Kelley later!” She cheered out, causing many laughs to reverberate throughout the room. 

_ _

Music began to play from the speakers as their pregame dance party started. Sonny made a motion that she would be there in a moment before she slipped into the hallway, phone in hand. 

_ _

With her ‘favorites’ list pulled up on her contacts, the blonde smiled to herself and called her girlfriend. 

_ _

“Hey babe, just wanted to hear your voice before the game starts. I love you,” Emily said as the call connected. 

_ _

“Hey you, I love you too. Go kick some Red Star ass and I will see you tomorrow morning at that airport waiting. I have a sign made and everything. Now go have fun, also we’ll talk later about why Tobin told me the whole team is gonna yell at me if we lose. But anyways, I love you Em,” Kelley said over the phone before hanging up. 

_ _

Sonny stood, leaning against the wall with a dopey grin on her face for a few moments until the door opened and burst her happy bubble. Lindsey raised an eyebrow, rolled her eyes, then pulled her best friend back into the locker room where they danced, stretched, and got ready to take on the Red Stars. 

__   
  


**Author's Note:**

> well that was fun hopefully!
> 
> any constructive criticism or comments are greatly welcomed and appreciated. 
> 
> i was thinking about possibly doing a follow up to this or what happens after the thorns loose so let me know if that's something you guys would be interested in. 
> 
> thanks for reading!


End file.
